SKU: 52035844720

自私的藝術:快樂有理,自私無罪!別再讓「過度妥協」控制你的餘生,美國心理學權威給無私好人的50個自救箴言

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自私的藝術:快樂有理,自私無罪!別再讓「過度妥協」控制你的餘生,美國心理學權威給無私好人的50個自救箴言SOP 502 2 50 23 12 10 David Seabury Build Your Own Future(How to Worry Successfully)(Adventures in Self Discovery)

作者:大衛.西伯里 | 譯者:李祐寧

     
       原來,光有愛是不夠的……你有足夠的智慧與自私嗎?
  在家庭、職場、愛情與人際關係中,
  為什麼那些「自私的人」過得更幸福?
 
  ★ 英文版上市旋即空降《紐約時報》暢銷榜冠軍
  ★ 長銷半世紀的心理自助經典,拯救了一整個世代「低潮的你」
 
  心理學家大衛‧西伯里,在經手上千個諮商案例後發現,人們最常遇到的生活困境、感情糾葛、家庭紛爭、人際關係,乃至於日積月累的壓力影響身體健康……所有問題的源頭,往往指向那個被人們誤解的「無私」精神,以及邪惡的自私。
 
  於是,西伯里決定致力推廣「自私的藝術」──他堅信拒絕別人的邪惡自私、捍衛自我的「良性自私」,才是人們能獲得幸福快樂的關鍵因素。
 
  ● 社交困擾讓你心好累?日復一日有禮貌、做人情、做面子,消耗掉你太多的能量?
  ● 面對需索無度的家人,是否還要繼續「善盡義務」?
  ● 你符合婚內失戀SOP嗎?「如果你愛我、你應該為了我、應該要做到……」
  ● 最親密的人是控制狂,只能無限妥協下去嗎?可是,「他們只是為你好……」
  ● 為什麼對工作、所愛之人付出了所有精力,大家還是不滿足?
 
  本書要教你練習「高尚的自私」,當他人對於你的時間、精力,與情緒,提出不合理的要求時,我們該如何說「不」?讀通了,你就能釋放長久以來受壓抑的真實自我,獲得前所未有的自由與喜悅──重點是毫不內疚!
 
  「你的自私程度夠高嗎?」
  「你的自私是良性,還是惡性的呢?」
  本書將提出應對、反擊,以及自我療癒的處方簽,你的餘生將因此過得更滋潤!
 
  ◎經常被誤解的良性自私:
  ● 選擇自己的職業。
  ● 選擇自己的婚姻伴侶。
  ● 選擇自己想要結交的朋友。
  ● 選擇自己的信仰。
  ● 找到最適合自己的環境。
  ● 運用自己的時間。
  ● 表現出最平常的反應。
  ● 保護自己的隱私。
  ● 決定自己的責任義務。
  ● 衡量自己的標準。
  ● 自己決定是非對錯的標準。
  ● 拒絕一切不正直的妥協。
 
  ◎ 邪惡自私的例子:
  ● 一面高喊著「自我犧牲」,卻一面展現出占有欲。
  ● 永無止盡地談著「否定自我」。
  ● 總是和別人講著該怎樣做才是「對所有人都好」。
  ● 將別人的義務轉嫁到你身上。
  ● 企圖透過別人的生命而活出自己的意志。
  ● 索求的比給予的多。
 
  書中50個真實案例,描寫的都是你我日常生活中一定會遭遇的困境,看他們如何憑藉作者所指引的「自私2大原則」,掙脫多年來無解的枷鎖,重獲新生,獲得內心的平靜與喜悅。
 
  當頭棒喝!《自私的藝術》精選金句──
  ●自私的藝術,是懂得如何滿足自己的需求。
  ●不願妥協,與妥協太多,兩者之間你只能擇一前進。
  ●當我們以委屈求全的態度生活並行動時,挫折只會如影隨形。
  ●光有愛是不夠的。愛需要它的好夥伴:智慧。
  ●擁有勇氣—─在麻煩開始前,就拒之於門外。
  ●唯有發自內心的自由,才是自由。
  ●唯有懂得保護自我魅力與趣味的人,才能帶給伴侶快樂。
  ●真正的聰明人不會去否認生活的不易,而是承認自己的不安。
  ●我們本能上知道,自己擁有快樂的權利。既然如此,何不接受天性給你的建議?
  ●關於愛,有一個基本法則:「做你自己─—無論何時何地。」
 
本書特色
 
  2大神奇公式,拋開內疚,享受人生!
  永遠不要讓自我妥協+不要自我滿足,贏回自我的生活主導權。
 
  50個邁向「無恥生活」的成功案例
  如果你做一件事的目的,只是為了取悅對方,你就應該拒絕去做。
 
  23個思維練習 × 12種避免犯下的錯誤 × 10大處理問題的原則
  想要好好被愛,不再害怕被人討厭,心理學家教你這樣練習。


作者

大衛‧西伯里(David Seabury)
 
  美國心理學界權威,作家與講師。在紐約執業期間,著有豐富數量的心理自助作品,以溫暖精闢的文字發揮影響力,致力於讓更多人擁有幸福的生活。包括:《開創自我的未來》(Build Your Own Future)、《與焦慮共處》(How to Worry Successfully)、《自我探索的冒險》(Adventures in Self-Discovery)等。
 
譯者
 
李祐寧
 
  畢業於政治大學新聞系,旅居海外,目前從事專職翻譯工作。譯作包含《像數學家一樣思考》、《甜與權力》、《行為投資金律》、《自私的藝術》、《波克夏大學》、《金融投機史》、《華爾街孤狼巴魯克》、《異常流行幻象與群眾瘋狂》、《跳痛的愛》等。
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SKU: 52035844720

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4.7 ★★★★★
Based on 21 reviews
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Ashton Taylor
Dallas, US
★★★★★ 3
I love indie authors
Format: Kindle
Let me preface this by saying—writing a book is HARD! Coming up with characters so real that they take on a life of their own, building an entire world, the political/magic system. Designing all of this is no easy feat. That being said. This book had so. Much. Potential. I was so excited to read this book, and I plan to finish it for the sake of finishing it. But. At this point, I would have set I’d aside as a DNF. The book could have benefited from some form of a developmental editor, or an in depth beta reader. I will say this. Within 5 chapters, there are so many… phrases that I’ve highlight that I’ve latched onto. Phrases about books and storms that were written BEAUTIFULLY! So, bravo Linton for hitting the nail on the head as to why readers disappear like they do! However, 5 chapters in and I can already guess where a majority of the story is going. But that’s also because I read like a mad-woman and have read this particular type of story, many different ways. Enemies to lovers where the FMC isn’t who she thinks she is. I am all about supporting indie authors. BUT. I also feel like criticism should be constructive, and not degrading. So if I could give this book a 4 1/2, strictly because I know the work the author put into this, I would. So if you’re looking for an easy read with characters that aren’t hard to follow, look no further! They are easy to love and easy to care for. One of the biggest issues they lacked, to me, was depth and plausible reactions to their situations. JD, you have done BEAUTIFULLY writing this book. I applaud and will continue to buy your books in the future. My BIGGEST recommendation is to definitely hire some form of an editor for any upcoming books. Or in turn, I will be happy to beta read for you. Should my opinion change of the book by the time I finish, I will happily get on here and say I was wrong, delete this review and post a different one. Until then…
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Reviewed in the United States on November 20, 2022
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Hannah Durham
Fort Morgan, US
★★★★★ 5
this book set my soul ablaze! <3
Format: Paperback, Format: Paperback
"i had never really cared about the weather before, but now, clear skies meant everything to me, and i was grateful to see another calm morning." this book. this book! i loved the last storm so much. the writing style. the descriptions. the world-building. the characters. the plot twists. the tropes. the sexual tension. the—everything. everything was magic. the last storm follows our two main characters, ara and rogue, giving us dual POV from both characters (which i loved, btw). ara, a human girl who has been locked away in her father’s estate most of her life, just wants to see the world. all she dreams of is seeing what else is out there. but when her father announces her engagement, she knows that dream will become nothing more than just that—a dream. rogue, the fae king, is tired of the attacks being rained down on his people. in hopes of finding out the human king adon’s secrets, rogue infiltrates auryna’s borders. in his last resort to gain information, he visits the local pub. to his surprise, the general’s precious only child is sitting at the bar, drink round after round of mead. now he just needs to figure out how to take her without anyone noticing. first and foremost, let’s talk about the endless list of my favorite tropes and aspects that this book had. ›› enemies to lovers ›› fated mates ›› one bed ›› the chosen one ›› elemental magic ›› actually good and shocking plot twists!!! ›› badass female lead ›› morally-grey love interest ›› fae/human war ›› force proximity ›› touch her and die ›› who did this to you? ›› captor/captive ›› praise k!nk (panting profusely) “you are entirely the opposite of everything that i am, and i would gladly wear your shackles if it meant i could have you.” it’s been a long while since i read a book i liked this much. but i just loved this book. it set my soul ablaze. thank you to the author for writing this beautiful story and for blessing me with an eARC! i loved it so much that i immediately bought the paperback upon release! every aspect of this book was just beautiful. i was blown away by the way the world was described, the way feelings were portrayed, the way the elements were used in the fae’s magic. it just—AHHH! i just absolutely adored it all. i cannot wait for the second book to release next year! also the way he calls her “little storm” sets my heart on fire. this was a fast-paced read and if you are a lover of acotar, fbaa, deal with the elf king, or any other similar books, then please stop everything you’re doing and read this book right now. you won’t regret it. thank you again, jd linton, for giving me the privilege of reading your arc and for blessing this world with the world you created. <3 "something about him pulled me in, like a moth to a flame, and it felt as if i was just waiting for the inevitable burn that came with flying too close to the fire."
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Reviewed in the United States on November 15, 2022
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Sean
Houston, US
★★★★★ 4
Fun, both heartwarming and heartbreaking
Format: Kindle
Only my second first person written selection, I am still getting used to that aspect, but unlike my first, I enjoyed that the story was told through both MCs. A great enemies to lovers, forced proximity, fated love etc, that resonated to me. There were some small twists that I could see coming, but also a few that I didn’t quite see until the characters were also seeing. Personally, I am more interested in the story than the spice, but with that said, it was well seasoned! I am kind of new to the spice world so I can’t say for sure how this would rate, but it definitely had some heat. I am very glad I happened across this author, and I do plan on also reading the next book….if nothing else, just to see for myself the “transformation” of the characters I’ve grown to love!
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Reviewed in the United States on May 23, 2024
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Havinne Akins
Alexandria, US
★★★★★ 5
😍😍 BEST DEBUT NOVEL EVER
Format: Paperback
I’m having trouble finding accurate words to describe the way this book made me feel, but I am going to do my best. To start off with basic elements, the character and world building are phenomenal. I feel a strong bond to not only the two main characters, Ara and Rogue, but to each and every character introduced throughout the book. The author did a stellar job of giving each of them unique personhood. All of the scenes are beautifully described. So much so that throughout the entirety of the book, I could see every scene: the towns, the castles, the meadows, the landscape. I have had difficulty with this and with distinguishing between outlying characters while reading in the past, but I did not have to think to remember details of world or character building because they flowed naturally within the story and were described well. I have read book series before that made me want to be a part of that world, but I actually felt like I got to step into Auryna and Ravaryn! The plot twists!! Although this is not a suspense novel, it still had me on a rollercoaster of emotions and on the edge of my seat from beginning to end. I haven’t cried actual tears over a book since I was in high school (and I’ve read a LOT). This book finally broke the floodgates in the final few chapters. Multiple times. And we love a good cliffhanger. It truly made me FEEL. THE SPICE is a solid 3.5/5. Some of the scenes had me flushed, some had me taking notes, some just had my jaw slack and my mouth hanging open. Bravo, JD Linton, bravo. The relationships: friendships, family, romantic, ALL of the relationships in this book have so much meaning. The author does a great job at making you feel the love, the anger, the peace, the frustrations, the safety, the familiarity, etc. between the characters. Ara and Rogue. I can not say enough and I also do not want to say too much. Just know that I feel like I know them both, to their core. I know what their childhood looks likes, their darkest moments, their biggest fears, their dreams and passions, what they want in life… The POV switches were seamless. I am so happy this author decided to let us see from both sets of eyes. I can not wait for book two after that cliffhanger. And there is SO much potential for at least one prequel, I can’t wait to see where this author goes! I hope this series continues and flourishes. Fingers crossed!
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Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2022
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Tracy and Christina
Lake Worth, US
★★★★★ 5
Amazing!
Format: Kindle, Format: Kindle
This book was phenomenal, I devoured it within a few days! For this being a debut novel, it is fantastic and I would’ve thought the author was a seasoned author. I have zero complaints about this book. Let me start by saying that the world building was phenomenal. I could picture everything in my head because of how detailed it was — that’s how good it was written. And I absolutely love the “captive/captor” trope so much, it’s become one of my favorite tropes, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that this book had that. I loved the banter between Rogue and Ara — they’re both snarky and witty, plus with the romantic tension, it made the dialogue that much better. Speaking of romantic tension, yes there is spice but not so much of it that it overrides the plot, which I loved. For me, this would probably be on the 3/5 level of spice. This book had a ton of plot twists and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2024

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